Sitting in the car,looking up through the sky,gloomy day.Little rain drops fall upon the whole city,everyone in the street walking fast,and some with umbrella's,to protect themselves from the rain.
For me,looking at the line's on my left and right hand.My heart hurts,and I know this is a heart broken story in my life.You know I love you,hence you beat me.I always strongly disagree with "beat meaning love".I'm the new generation,a person that accepted Christ who knows God is my Saviour.I choose to keep quite,words may hurt but action hurts a thousands of time.
I was standing in the middle of the road in front of my house with my umbrella,looking far far down the other side,looks so blurry where I can't really see.That's when I realize,sometimes life might be blurry where I can't barely recognize my reflection.Until,the rain stops..then I can truly see it.Why must it be hurt,with tears only I realize?I'm sure this time I'm wrong,nor I'm right too.Hitting a 20 years old me,thinking I'm well grown up,not a baby girl anymore..but when I think twice I'm still one.Where the spirit in me is bigger then everything,God is the one who shower me to become who I'm.
I'll never forget this experience,the pain that deeply cut thru my flash and blood.I feel the pain,I know how pain is it.Makes me think back when I was small got scold and beat by the one who rise me up.I thought people say is a once in a life time thing.I'm afraid there are more.Yet in my prayer,God's know me I wont be afraid of human,but God.
Being the youngest among,is where they put me as the most precious and the most looking after one.With hopes,and love.I do not aspect,my God to do everything for me.Nor I'm just a human with fresh blood,who cannot do anything with my own flash,I'm not a perfectionist.It's a burden in me where I know God has gave me a lot of talent,but when I come back to my nest,I know there is no such things called talent.I'm afraid to show my talent,because I know there wont be an reward from words.
I wonder in front of my balcony again....rain drops are beautiful,the sparkling when that second it falls down from the sky.Once it drop on the ground,no more sparkling,yet just a transparent rain on the ground.I'm a rain drop,I can sparkle for a few second in my life,once I fall down without encouragement,that is all called TRANSPARENT.Nobody sees.
Knowing that,I cannot be blessing for others I will cry.And _ says I'm not that hardworking.God knows me.All I wish to know is I'm helpful at home,and the motivation push me higher.Some people say,it's ok people see and people know.Yes,right.Nevertheless,I said I want ENCOURAGEMENT!I know I'm not as good as others in studies,but com'on look at the brighter side,God gave me talent where nobody can replace me.
Give thanks in a circumstances.Thanks for hitting me.Now I see the true color.
The rain outside my window,haven stop God I know you have been sad...I might have fail you too God.I still love you Jesus.I hope after this rain,there will be rainbow to prove that You are with me.
Last but not least,thanks baby.