Sunday, October 24, 2010

我也会掉眼泪!

If only you can read mandarin then you will know what am I going to blah in this post. I have friends who told me I'm like a Superwomen to her, I was shocked indeed! Well she does explain from which angle she meant-- Independence! I can say yes, but sometimes I do cry and needs cuddles too. Super doesn't meant that I'm born to be a super, I'm just mold to be one hence I grow from a strong dependency background yet through some reason I have to be strong and independence.Honestly, it's not hard at times but it can be tough at times too!

This few days dad was in hospital and I was busy with work and church therefore I spend much time dashing in and out. It's been tiring and I know it's not only me but my dearest family are tire too. We know we all plays an important role at this moment, for dad I can do it! With the love of Christ I need to do it too. Lending this post I would say a million thanks to those who text, call and ask me about daddy thank you for your prayers too it meant much to us! May God bless those who bless!

I would like to share a little about my feelings during this few months....This is because today I came to a stage where God spoke to be through His words.

I woke up with a unexpected manner, I don't bother doing anything special today and I was expecting today to end early. After dancing, I walk in to service I have this feeling ;strong feeling that I can't describe much what it is about. I was in the second row, Jessie was sharing on we have to overcome our relationship. This ring a bell in my head, a big knock in my stomach I was alert and I'm yes focusing on what is it going to be. The sharing was short indeed, nothing much a few point and question were given nothing much tho. Till the part where she was asking do you think there is a relationship that is broken or you can't mend? Relationship that has hurt you a zillions time and we still don't know why and how. Unconsciously I actually teared.......

don't know why I'm now standing and crying here, I have no idea what's making me crying like a baby! Okay for a moment I think I know why, few months ago or a few years ago I was in this serious depression on a relationship(friend)! I have no idea how can I do this, really NO idea! To be exact, I felt I was left out I'm in the midst where nobody cares where am I going and doing I don't even bother blogging about it (not like I wish to blog now,anyhow.....) I was thinking once we were eating together, playing, shopping, working and singing together but now? I'm missing it, and I think life still have to move on because they will have their new bunch of friends and life. Moving on now they are flying off for some trip....I'm seriously in depression on this! I can go gaga about these! I'm left out-- relate this to the sermon, yes I was left out from a group of people. Story goes on and on.

One thing I need to learn, there are more people who needs me. What more to care those who don't care me? Might as well, give care and love to those who needs! I need to take this as my homework for now, of course, to abide strong in God's word! I know there are some people who stab me like sh*t but I know some people who cares and loves me, I give thanks to those who loves me and pray for those who stab me. After all, I'm just a human yes a HUMAN!

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